By Jen Ashton, Primary Directress
“The child’s conquest of independence begins with his first introduction to life. While he is developing, he perfects himself and overcomes every obstacle that he finds in his path. A vital force is active within him, and this guides his efforts towards their goal.”
In the Children’s House, a child figuring something out for themselves is where they experience success and growth! The activities of daily life are more about process then the end product. A child polishes a tray because they love the process of setting everything out on a table, choosing a beautiful object in the classroom, applying polish to it and rubbing it off. The next day they choose the same object and polish it again. Perhaps the first time the child struggled with the polish dropper, but we show again how (or maybe another child helps) and then step back to allow practice, so the third time or fourth time is successful in squeezing it out. The joy in a child’s proclamation, “I did it!” is often heard in the Children’s House, from one whose struggle has been long and determined. As the adults in the classroom, if we interrupt it, we not only hinder a child's development in the area of independence but we rob them of the joy experienced with the moment of successful accomplishment!
As adults it is hard for us to stand by and not offer to do something for the children that is struggling with something. However, we understand that it is important for children to take the time that they need to do things for themselves. This is not to say we abandon a child to struggle alone. We are there, offering a quiet presence, watching and observing, and occasionally (just before the tipping point of mad frustration) offering a little point of interest with the words, “let me show you the next step and then you try.” The more time we spend with children and watch their growth and successes, the more we are able to internalize the importance of children being able to do things for themselves.
This is why we wear tie shoes in the classroom. Tie shoes offer the older children, who know how to tie, an opportunity to offer their shoe tying services to others who don't know how to do it. Some of the younger children are aspiring to be like the older who already know how to tie, and it gives them a sense of determination: twisting and looping and lacing and twirling over and over again. This week I heard from one of the younger children, the beautiful shoe tying proclamation, “I made the first tie!” A few other children in the classroom who were nearby came over to enjoy their success. Then the child said, “Next, the loops!” I took so much enjoyment from this moment, and not just for the child who made the tie, but more from watching the other children who also gathered to enjoy this moment when someone succeeded in their struggle.
Another child was struggling to UNTIE his double knotted shoes. He kept pulling the loops tighter and tighter. Several times, I have shown how to find the place where the laces cross over and gently tug them apart until they were loose. Occasionally the shoes would be slipped off his feet with the loops still in place and he would bang the shoes on the floor... This week I looked over at him sitting on the floor, smiling a huge smile with both shoes in front of him.. untied, laces tucked in and super proud of his accomplishment! Maybe the other children didn’t notice this time, but he knew it and I knew it and we both enjoyed the success together!