The spontaneous urge towards development, which is within the child, dictates its own pace.”
-Maria Montessori
The beginning of the year in the Children's House unfolds in a way that resembles the unfolding of development. Our first days are spent just enjoying one another, getting to know each other, and getting to know the environment around us. We play games, sing songs, and simply learn how to be in our space. We spend a lot of time out in nature and participate in lots of practical life! It is through practical life that the children connect with and take ownership of their environment and themselves. The tears that we see in those early days comes from a grief within a child who is just wondering, "Where can my love go? Can I give it to these adults? Can I give it to these friends? Can I give it to this space?"
Now we have been together for several weeks, and little by little, the children are coming to know me and I am getting to know them. The youngest children have had enough presentations to get them through the morning, with a few songs, games, and stories mixed in. The older children who now have a long repertoire of activities to choose from, are helping the younger children with cleaning up spills, folding the clean laundry of washcloths, setting up for lunch, and the many other ways to care for our beautiful space that they have learned over the years.
This is one of those little pockets of time where a directress can observe the environment and see many beautiful examples of self-mastery, but in those in between moments, begin to think things like, "This child wrote and illustrated a sentence in the first week of school, he should be writing sentences each day. . .This child should be walking in our classroom. . . This child should be choosing the materials that I presented to him yesterday. . .This child should not be wrestling on the floor with his favorite buddy. . .
It's just our human nature to show a child how to do something or to give them an instruction knowing that they are capable of doing it. But then they don't; and our immediate response is often, "they should be . . ." But when I hear the word should in my mind, I shift my perspective. What does this child need? I gave him the presentation, but now he's not choosing it? Why? Living with children in a Montessori way, requires us to ask ourselves hard questions, like "What does this child still need me to do? Am I giving them a safe place to put their love?" I love a method of being with children where the adults need to look at themselves and notice, "This child needs me to sit next to him a little longer while he does his work or this child needs me to show more grace and courtesy to the community or this child needs me to back off and give more time and space after an instruction."
We are all working on self-mastery and there are glimmers of it everyday and the children are stretching themselves and improving themselves and we are all developing ourselves. This is a time to trust in the method, to trust that this environment that we prepared will give them everything we need, to trust that the children will find it, and to trust in ourselves that with patience and love that we will turn the glimmers of self-mastery into long stretches of concentration and self-mastery. It is hidden within the child, and comes when we are least expecting it.